moms are strange creatures

last night at 10pm i was washing dishes while kevin was bathing moses. i was angry because i was washing dishes and hate washing dishes when i sliced my finger with a freshly sharpened Henckel knife. i was bleeding like a mofo and started screaming and jumping around and washing my hand under water. i was sure i needed stitches. kev's parents ended up coming over to watch over mo while we went to the hospital. no stitches, of course. THANK GOD. for the most part it is fine as long as it is out of commission but any pressure whatsoever and i start jumping around again.

i went out for a walk in tsawwassen this morning and ran into Saara and Baby Leila with another mom friend (Sam with baby Wyatt) at the local Blenz. i ended up joining them for a little snack at Ambiente Cafe. Leila and Wyatt were walking and running around. Saara and Sam broke into the Veggie Tales intro song which I guess I'll probably be learning soon. i don't mind being a mom but i'm doing my best to be a person who happens to be a mom. i want to talk about other things other than Moses. i don't need to talk about Moses because he is the best and no kid could compare to him anyway :P it was my first time being with more than one mom at the same time and basically it turned into "MY KID DID THIS!" "OMG MY KID JUST STARTED DOING THIS!" back and forth and really NOBODY CARES EXCEPT OURSELVES.

i ended up back in steveston to check out candy at Candy Aisle for Aina's bf's 30th birthday party that i am helping to coordinate. seeing as it was such a gorgeous day, we went walking around steveston and onto the pier. OMG. mom after mom after mom after mom. it's so funny to see how each one is so different. there were a pair of teen moms walking together and al i could think about is thank god that they have one another being so young. they werer probably 16-17 but dresse more like 13-14. there was of course the hotsy totsy mom in her high chunky heeled boots, totally too cool to talk to anyone else. and i laughed to myself. who is she kidding? lady, you are out on the pier in steveston! it's not like you are out for a fancy dinner party with your kid.

but i guess i understand that need to let the world know "hey, i'm still here! the old stephanie is still alive and kicking in this mom costume! really it's me!" i think that your self-identity is the hardest part about becoming a mom; more than the sleepless nights, endless stank of crap, or sagging/plugged up/leaking/etc boobs. you lose yourself because you are required to become selfless in order to provide for your new baby. your hobbies, your relationship with your husband and friends, your financial independence, everything just falls by the wayside to make way for this new tiny person.

it is funny how expecting parents are so naive. i'm not saying i wasn't naive, but i was definitely expecting the worst. it is like a secret, and nobody talks about it. everyone just quietly moves on with their lives, acting like their life hasn't been completely devastated by the most wonderful thing in the world.

i'm going for hotpot tonight. i'm so excited.


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