excerpt from Honest Baby....
Things That Are Wrong With This Picture
I am an art producer. I love my job. On a daily basis, I look at 100s of photographs. This one stood out. It felt out of place and awkward, the way Miriah Carey’s size 2 clothes fit on her size 16 body. It should go in the dictionary next to definition of “delusional parenting”. Here are ten things that are wrong with it.
1. The parents obviously had a restful slept.
2. It looks like they just woke up, but the picture deceitfully has that mid morning, 11am glow to it.
3. The father is still in the picture.
4. Looking at the mother’s stomach, the newborn TRIPLETS are obviously adopted.
5. The picture would make a great Clorox ad.
6. The mother’s boobs are not two gigantic balloons, covered in milk stains and weird round mini pads and/or cabbage leaves.
7. It doesn’t appear like parents are mouthing “Fuck you” to each other.
8. The mother has perfectly swept up bangs and overall clean hair.
9. It looks like they might have had sex in the last two months, judging by the glow.
10. No one in the photograph is crying, including the kids.