feeling desperate - there are a lot of F words in this post for you clean minded folks

i am extremely upset right now...

i don't know what the fuck to do with moses bc he is so fucking scared of sleeping!!!!!!!  we went to ikea and bought him the nice yellow moon light to replace the tiny blue glowing guy and then rearranged his room.  i figured that maybe if his room was "not his room" that we would not associate it with being scared but apparently i was fucking wrong.  we even did storytime in his room, i set up a little storytime area and even then he was spastically picking books and putting them back, not letting me finish them before throwing another one at me...  and when we said no more books and put them away the screaming and freaking out began all over again.

he is doing everything to procrastinate bedtime and the only way he'll sleep is after a fucking hour of me lying in his fucking crib with him while he tosses, turns, kicks and plays around.  I AM SO FUCKING EXHAUSTED!!!!!  AND STRESSED OUT!!!!  i am uncomfortable enough in my own bed nevermind curling into a 4x3 foot crib with a 16 month toddler kicking me on the outside and chloe kicking me from the inside.  did i mention i've been having weird pinching pains in my vag the past couple of days????  yeah, that makes me feel very nervous that all this stress is causing her stress as well.  

i'm so fucking upset right now.  i can't believe how the tables have turned.  i can't believe he used to walk himself to his room, get into bed and wave goodnight to me and fall asleep within minutes and now he is a total wreck and we are all wrecks now.

i have no idea how long this is going to last!  i don't know what to do!!!  do i keep staying in his room????  do we just take him to bed with US????  I DON'T WANT TO CONDITION HIM TO BE AFRAID OF SLEEPING IN HIS BED INDEPENDENTLY!!!!  ESPECIALLY WITH CHLOE ON THE WAY!!!!!!!!!!

the internet fucking sucks for help right now.  and i have a shitty feeling that nobody is going to have any advice for this.

sorry for all the eff words


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