i'm ready

i feel like i am in the twilight zone.  i've done this before and yet it still feels so eerie and surreal.  my life has been massively altered with no promise of returning to my previous life, and it is about to undergo another upheaval.  my brain is having problems processing this birth.  there is no doubt something is coming but the mystery of the when and how is so disconcerting to me!  when and how? what will i be doing?  where will i be?  will i be at home or out, with Moses or not?  who will i call and who will be able to take Moses?  how fast will it be?  WILL IT EVEN HAPPEN NATURALLY THIS TIME???

i just keep replaying scenes in my head.  calling kevin.  calling renee.  calling 50 other people.  updating my facebook status lol.  will it be another long drawn out labour?  will it be short and fast as other people have told me it was with their second child?

i know it's going to happen.  her movements are few and far between.  it's not just me being crazy.  it's been three days of slowed movement.  i'm at the edge of my seat.  ON YOUR MARK!  GET SET!....  i'm just waiting for the GO!!!!

i could not sleep last night.  i was having another night of anxiety and angst thinking it was going to happen last night and having messed up dreams.

i'm going to go pack for the hospital.

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