super super tired.
not sleeping well at all.
angry and frustrated with moses.... has been pushing me to my limit these past few days calling "daaaddddyyy" all bloody day and night.  he's been doing it for at least an hour lying in his bed and i seriously feel like putting him outside on the dark patio.  he has finally shut up.  :(  UGGGGHHHHH.  i hate how hard it is to be a mom.  i hate having no reserves of goodness left, nothing left but badness.  threats and anger instead of soothing and cuddling.  just "snap!" "snap!" "snap!".  i just can't take it.  my neck and shoulders have been killing me and have given me headache that won't go away.  i'm exhausted i'm just so exhausted and so stressed out that hearing his shitty whiny voice makes me completely and totally crazy.  not only is it the whining tone scraping against my skull, but the anxiety of this whining waking up chloe so that i get to hear both of them crying at 10:30pm.  WHY DON'T ANYONE ELSE'S KIDS SLEEP THIS DAMN LATE???????  he's been in bed since 9:00pm!!!!!

i have my interview tomorrow.
kevin is taking a day course from 5:30-10pm so i'm flying solo.  i will be meeting up with Lauren for dinner and hanging out thankfully.  it's been a long time since we've gotten together, it will be nice :)

god i hope i get this job and i hope it gives me more time to up my patience reserves.  my nerves are totally frayed.

i'm a frayed knot.


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