burnt out details

holy crap am i running on empty.
i wish we hadn't sold that cheap laptop a few months back.  it's times like these where i can't even open my eyes when i wish i could just get into bed and blog from a more comfortable place.

i started work last friday.  
friday was a 5 hour shift that included sitting at a computer for 5 hours doing little quizzes and readings on WHMIS, customer service, company policies, etc...
sunday was a FULL day 9-5:30, the first half doing more policy stuff and the second half getting on the floor and practicing on a training computer.  
yesterday was an evening shift again and i went on the floor bagging and ringing people through with my IN TRAINING sign on the belt.
my body is not used to sitting nor standing for such periods of time and after bagging and standing for the entire shift last night, my back was in ruins this morning.

i'm so drained and so stressed out.  i don't know what to do.  i am a full-time mom and housekeeper which really takes up the majority of my days.  i "need" to be working on projects but i can't find the time.  i know i could leave kevin to take the kids out for the evening walks on his own, but when then do he and i get to have any time together?  and as much as the job is an excellent way of giving me a break from being MOM! it's going to take a while before my body adjusts accordingly.

i am so frustrated.
see this post at thepauhaus...
i am at a point where i am feeling very driven to make my dreams a reality.  i already feel like i have taken too long to figure out what i want to do with my life.  i am afraid to live my life with regret of not having pursued my creative endeavours.  i am feeling a VERY intense sense of urgency to get my ass moving but reality keeps rearing its ugly face, reminding me that my schedule does not accommodate the necessary hours it takes to practice and develop my skills.

and quite honestly, i underestimated how exhausted i would be throwing work into the mix, so that even if i have time at the end of the day, i am ready to drop dead.

everything will work out.
the kids are so beautiful.


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