every night

i climb into their beds.  i feel like they are golden gods and as they fall deeper into sleep, the warmer and rosier their cheeks get.  i worship them, pressing my cheeks, nose and lips into their delicious face and bellies.  i pray for happiness and health.  i slouch on my knees, wondering who these little faces will become.  what will they be like when they are sad and mourning.  will they slouch like me when they are tired of life and wishing for more.  i smell them, ritually, like an animal.  it's just so natural to be in love and to bask in the smell of you babies.  after all they smell like vanilla cookies.  even their breath is yummy.

they will be five, six and seven.  and i will be older.  they'll hit 10 and 12 and i'll be older.  i remember being 10.  i remember being 12.  not really, but it's from when i began to have the most memories of life.  my life will change with theirs, adapt to their ever growing needs and dreams.  continue to pray for happiness and health and not to get in with a bad crowd.  pray that they will be courageous enough to travel but secretly pray that they don't so that i won't have to worry and miss them.

they have no idea what is happening.  everyday is play and eat and be taken care of.  learn wonderful things everyday.  everything is still so knew.  everything is amazing.


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