two tangerines

what a very busy last couple of days!  we headed to the pumpkin patch on Westham Island saturday morning.  it was overcast but at least it wasn't raining!

one of the farmers let moses into the goats pen to feed them hay!

i was determined to go.  i have been doing my very best to maintain a balance of attention between moses and chloe.  i know that when they are much older they will be able to understand the difference between life with one child and one with TWO children.  i am doing my best to make sure they are both getting as equal opportunities as possible and that nobody will feel favoured.  i would say i am even more aware of it after having recently read The Sibling Effect.  the concept of fairness is very intense in young children and they are very sensitive to about who gets what and if at any point they are being jipped by their parents.  THE CUPCAKE HAS TO BE CUT PRECISELY EXACTLY IN HALF.

for example, within slight variations of my mornings, i usually no longer have to get out of bed to fetch chloe.  they have woken up with kevin and he has given them a light snack and switched on the tube before heading out to work.  they mind their own business until the show is over, playing gets boring, someone is hungry, or (the worst) someone gets hurt... then come the footsteps, pitter pattering towards my room, the door comes flying open and the both of them peel in.  moses jumps into the bed and chloe crawls frantically behind and cries at the bedside until i pull her up into bed, too.  this morning, much more clearly than usual, they seemed to be fighting for my attention/affection.  you can't do one thing to moses and do that same thing to chloe to make it fair.  each child has to have an individual special version to feel special.  the other day (possibly yesterday) i was holding one in each arm as i lay on my back and swung them side to side singing "mo and co! mo and co! mo and co!" 

for Halloween, moses was a crazy skeleton luchador at our Halloween party and chloe wore moses' pumpkin costume from last year.  i felt bad that she was getting a hand-me-down, but she looked SUPER CUTE and moses looked super crazy in his year old skeleton pi's.  i felt like it was sort of even.

hahaha soleil was killing me in her werewolf costume

halloween day was a beautiful blue skied day.  it was super windy and chilly, but i'll take cold and beautiful over wet and yucky anyway.  after the home photoshoot, we went to Tsawwassen mall for their festivities and trick-or-treating.  i was super stressed out doing the photoshoot and rushing to get ready to head out.  i couldn't decide whether or not to dress up and forgot to put a moustache on moses and had to lay him down last minute, barking at him to stop moving and barking at chloe to stop climbing up my back as i painted his face.

the mall was great.  kevin's mom was there with Andie and Andie's dad, eagerly waiting for us to arrive to join in the fun.  it was so nice to have two other adults there to help out with the kids.  

we came home and had dinner with kev before heading out into the dark cold evening for more trick-or-treating.  we warmed moses up with a few of the town homes in our complex before heading to Beach Grove.  we had such a fantastic time.  it was such a joy to enjoy halloween at this level, truly one of the best things about being a parent.  he would confidently knock on people's doors and say trick or treat as he walked into their home to get treats.  if they let him pick candies, he would take 5 like a greedy little pig.  sometimes he would start pointing things out in their home, like a fireplace or a sleeping baby hahaha.  he saw a firework set off 30 feet away.  he got super spooked at our neighbour's mom's house with the stereo blasting creepy eerie music.  it was so excellent.  it was so awesome seeing moses have such a great time.

wonderful wonderful wonderful

so.  back to fairness and equal treatment...  my girlfriend forwarded me the contact for a casting call for a toddler clothing line for Vancouver Fashion Week, to take place this sunday.  the casting was for 1.5-3 year old kids and was being held yesterday (halloween) from 4 - 7pm and today 4-6pm.  i was hmming and hawing between days and i am happy that i didn't give up halloween for this.  we ended up going today and as it turns out, the ladies were very obvious in their likes/dislikes.  if they were uninterested, they did not throw any scraps of hope, they were completely ambivalent.  if they liked you, they showed it.  funny enough, they seemingly fell in love with coco and blind sighted moses.  they tried one shirt on him.  they cooed and fawned over chloe, checked how well she walked with assistance, watched her to crawl around and tried a few outfits on her.  they literally said "she is perfect!" and "we want a baby!".  

i don't know how i feel about this anymore.  people are not kind and i should know this.  also, these people are doing business, they are not a friend trying to set up a play date.  i am feeling unsettled by all this in my quest to maintain equality among them.  i know, neither of them realize what was even going on, but in my heart, i can't help but feel sad for moses.  i know i shouldn't be taking it personally...  i just don't even know if this is a good idea anymore.  plus, if chloe gets it, i am going to have to rearrange my schedule at work which sucks since i just started a few weeks ago!   

i don't know what to say anymore.  


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