mom club

1. Staying Home - by Tiffany Doerr Guerzon
(Found in BC Parent, free magazine)

Freelance writer Tiffany reflects on her previous notions of what a stay-at-home life would entail and describes the brutal reality of it all.  My favourite quote:

I also underestimated how incredibly long the days can be.  This was especially true when I had been up all night with the baby.  Instead of being well dressed and put together, I was so tired I often returned home from an outing to find, to my dismay, that the flaps on my nursing bra were still open under my shirt.

How many times that happened to me, I'm glad my mom brain has blessed me with forgetfulness!
I love how she ends her article by weighing the exact thing I just commented on in my previous post, how 20 years from now, I want my children to remember me playing with them and not how immaculately clean the house was.

2. Ricotta Pancakes with Honey Butter (via Babyccino)

3.  I had a fantastic day with my East Van mommas.  Taryn Syx Hanna and Armenie live in the downstairs suite of their friends Liz Luke Koa and Arlo.  Today was spent upstairs.  It was a total riot with 3 dishevelled moms and 6 kids between the ages of 2.5 months and 3 years.  Totally nuts.

me with the youngest of the wolf pack: Armenie

brunch - veggie packed mac'n'cheese
honeydew and pineapple

Left to Right
Arlo with mamma Liz
Armenie with mamma Taryn

i think chloe is going to be pretty good friends with Armenie
she was so stoked to bounce the chair and play with A's teensy toes
i was amazed at how gentle she was

this photo also kills me as much as the above because they totally look like girls
i can see the three of these girls having their own little club when they are older!

literally the conversation taking place was
Moses: the train goes CHOO CHOO!
Koa: No!  NOT CHOO!

check out this AMAZING entertainment centre turned KITCHEN
by handyman Luke!

it was such a therapeutic playdate session today.  i've been having so many issues lately of how i see myself as a mother.  i'm trying to step back to see the greater picture, see what changes need to be made in my prioritizing, where can i let go and where can i try harder.  where do i need to apply more patience and where do i need to put my foot down?

it was so great to come into a house that was in the exact state that i had left my own home.  i felt normal. i felt like less of a failure.  i felt at home!  everything in disarray, pyjamas and hair bundled up in a messy bun.  we all took turns carrying each other's babies while tending to other children or helping to prepare or clean up after meals.  we all took turns cooing over babies and flipping out at shitty toddler behaviour.  T said it right when she said aggressively swinging hanna up and out of the main area to a private room is what keeps her from doing worse.  and it's true.  grabbing a collar or tugging an arm is sending them the message that whatever they were doing is purely unacceptable and there are consequences.  there are different levels of behaviour which demand different levels of discipline.  i never thought i would be a mom who spanked (though i was never against it since i was spanked all the time) but there is a time and a place.  these kids KNOW what they are doing and they are doing it to test how far they can go with you.  they want to see if they can get away with it.  

sigh.  on the whole, they were all very very well behaved.  it was a great visit.  it was, as i said, therapeutic to share one another's insecurities and challenges, to realize we are all on a level playing field. so many times, i feel guilty for my impatience and my punishments, but hearing other moms (including another mom at work tonight!) brush off my worry and tell me they are 100% there 24/7, is such a relief!  so many days i just want to throw in the towel and you can't.  you have to get up and do it all over again.  and again and again and again.  these little people are forever.  not dogs, not cats, not birds, not bunnies, not fish...  you are creating their mould every minute of everyday.  mistakes can not be made.  no matter how much you try, you never seem to be able to meet your own expectations.  everyday i feel like i could have done better.  my efforts are never enough.  you want them to have 3 complete and healthy meals with healthy snacks in between but that is never a reality.  you want to play with them but housework is always calling, or maybe you are stuck on the couch breastfeeding the baby.  you want to sit down and teach them or make a craft but you are exhausted...

we do what we can.  and hopefully when they become parents, they will call you and tell you how sorry they are for being hell when they realize how hard you tried to do everything and give you everything.

Parker Grey O'Brien.  Maybe when i'm 30 we'll be rich and i can have a third one.



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