crazyass mom days aka why i'm tired as hell

i am dying.  ok i am not dying.  but i am on the verge of having a huge sobfest into a pillow.  i'm not sad, just exhausted from being exhausted.

fail fail fail

i have had a month to get moses' emergency earthquake bag ready for the start of school.  i still have not got it together.  bits and pieces.

at least i haven't been late for preschool yet.  they should give outstanding awards for people like me.

worked til 1030 and forgot kevin had dropped me off and had the car.  i called him at 1030pm but could only here him muffled behind chloe's shrieking cries.  i tried calling a few neighbours to see if they could give me a ride home.  normally i would have walked but (1) it was cold and i have not got back into the habit of bringing a jacket with me (2) i was butt ass tired.

came home freaking out because it's my sister and her hub's birthday next week and i needed to make cards and send them to arrive early.  oh yeah, and get/make a present for my sister.  after 2 hours of Pinteresting and cutting and throwing all my failures on the ground, i opted for the simplest of simples.  on top of that i was desperately trying to see if i COULD get moses' emergency package together.  i gave up, too stressed about getting the birthday stuff out.

so went to bed around 1am, didn't fall asleep til 2am freaking out and trying to pre-plan for today.

managed to wake-up at 730am.  it was moses first full 2.5 hour day so i had to be dressed, packed up and have them up, fed, dressed, and cleaned up to arrive for 9am.  actually i needed to be even EARLIER to take very specific photos of moses prior to class.  moses had a melt down because he wanted to go to Franc Depart instead of his own classroom.  he bawled and everyone ignored him, including me.  he eventually stopped, a few minutes after i promised he could play in Franc Depart after school.

relaxed at Franc Depart across the hall while chloe played.  i'm getting minutely more comfortable with trying out my very simple french.

left early to come home, photoshop photos of moses, give chloe a snack and run out to shoppers to print photos before returning to pick up moses.  turns out i saved them on the USB as pdfs not jpegs.  ran back to the car with chloe (god life is SO MUCH EASIER WITH ONE CHILD! no matter how big they are, it's still easier to carry ONE than to grapple TWO!)

kids were outside in the playground waiting to be picked up.  moses was fine.  stayed at Franc Depart so they both could play as i had promised them both.

hurried home.  made us cereal with almond milk, yogurt, cut up strawberries and bananas for lunch.  resaved my images as jpegs and back on to the USB.  packed us in the car and back to Shoppers to print the photos.  they wouldn't be ready for a goddam hour since the dude was on his lunch break, so we walked up to the library.  PERFECT.  they fucked off and i got to sit down and answer a bunch of random texts from random and nonrandom people.  as i sat huffing and puffing and texting, chloe had her THIRD shitty diaper of the day.  what's so awesome about this is that her second crap was at Franc Depart where i realized for the 3rd day in a row i hadn't packed diapers; at least they are kind enough to supply a few for such situations.  i was so thankful they were just a size too big and not 3 sizes too small!  SO for this 3rd shitsplosion of the day, i just had to put her in pants with nothing under and hope for the best...

i responded to texts, found SNEETCHES by Dr Seuss, chloe threw books on the floor and told another little boy how everything was "MINE!" and moses parked himself on the computers and then it was time to go.  we walked over to Thrifty's to grab tofu for dinner, avocado for chocomole/nutella for tomorrow, and these new Ginger Gold apples i've been meaning to try.  hoping i looked at horrible as i felt i tried to plead with my red-dyed hair supervisor to have the evening off but she laughed and shook her head at me.  DAMMIT.  BACK TO SHOPPERS TO PICK UP PHOTOS.

actually, let's give your eyes a bit of a text break to show you a "map" of the Town Centre, just so you have an idea of distances between stores and how many fucking times i have to cross the busy parking lot with two assholes that want to get themselves hit by a car almost as much as i do...  actually, by this point, i had already thrown them into a Thrifty's shopping cart to avoid chasing them through the store and guiltily pushed it 90% off the premises on the way to Shopper's.

parking lot to shoppers
shoppers to library
library to thrifty's
thrifty's to shoppers
shoppers to thrifty's
thrifty's to car

put chloe on a stool so she wouldn't run around grabbing things.  moses ran around but at least wasn't grabbing things and chucking them on the floor.  and yes old lady, i know my daughter could fucking fall off but it's been a long morning, i'm trying to fish my cards out of my bag to pay, and honestly if she falls, then at least she'll be careful to not do it again.  worse things have happened.  like eating my deoderant...

get the photos, they look great, drag kids to the back where the Post Office is and in between yelling at them to stop running and grabbing things and taking a mega bag of chips from chloe, discussing postage and delivery time with the very patient lady.  we walk out hand in hand, me, moses and chloe and as soon as we get out to the sidewalk and after reprimanding moses to stop JERKING chloe's arm out of its sockets, he jerks her right off the sidewalk where she tumbles into the street.  thankfully, there were no cars... otherwise i would have jerked him into the street.  JK.

YOU ARE CALLING THEM EVERY 10 SECONDS TO EITHER HURRY UP OR SLOW DOWN.  and in either case, they are also running under every sandwich board and climbing over every bench and running through patches of gravel.

as we finally complete our errands, i realize i forgot the damn bag of groceries at Thrifty's.  so we have to detour back to thrifty's.  CHERRY.  no wait, that's not the cherry.  as we are crossing the road for the last time to get to our car, instead of waiting beside me and checking before crossing, Moses peels into the road as a huge SUV is passing through.  that was the cherry.

we arrive home.  10 feet from our door, moses body checks chloe and she falls down.  and yes, i went right up to him and pushed his chest so that he fell down.  he cried.  i went inside to our house that smells like rank food and laundry and shoes, and chloe pees in her pants.

they are both in bed and instead of having an hour to clean before new friend Tera visits with her daughter, i now have 20 minutes to clean!

i pray that my body will somehow have the energy to make it through tonights shift.  at least i get to work with a few of my fave people tonight.  that always makes the nights go faster.


*forgot to make the crappy map, so now i have 7 minutes.  sorry tera!

* editing, it is now 401pm HAHAHAHAHA


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