moses. i met my first Hugo today at Emilia's birthday party. another little half caucasian half asian little boy. i really really wanted to name him Hugo. at first i felt a little sad, but the name Moses has definitely grown with him, as i had hoped it would. he's a wise little guy. he's thoughtful and observant. he has always been this way. he is often the first in the elevator, having called it and once inside, he holds his finger on the DOOR OPEN button until everyone has filed in. IS EVERYBODY READY?!!! these kids absorb everything. he is channeling so many of my habits and mannerisms. on one hand, he is very bossy and reprimands chloe when unnecessary, throwing around his "older brother power". CHLOE! DON'T. DO. THAT. PUT. THAT. DOWN. RIGHT . NOW. on the other hand, he shows great capacity for kindness and consideration for others, by comforting them and asking them if they are ok. the terrible threes have crept up on us the last month or so. it has taken me a long time to realize that kids go through phases and i should not freak out, but calmly figure out ways to deal with new misbehaviour until the demon finally decides to vacate. terrible threes have started off with the following behaviours:
1. meltdowns. he phased out of the terrible twos meltdowns and mellowed out. they have returned in trendy new colours! where he had been able to use words when upset, he now immediately breaks into tears (both real and fake depending on his mood). a few days ago he started crying because i had closed the door after buckling him into the car and i had forgotten to pass him a toy. normally he would just tell me that i forgot to get him his toy like a normal human being, but that did no happen. he burst into tears instead.
he has been getting into more trouble lately which results in time-outs to his room. they did not used to happen very often, but with the event of these meltdowns, i refuse to share the communal living area with him fake crying for 20 minutes. what scares me the most is that when he goes to his room to cry, it won't be over after 2 minutes as it had been before. he will stay in there for 15-20 minutes fake crying. Euuuuugggghhhh-huh-huhuh-huhhhhh over and over and over. it's happening way more often. i am eager to get out of this stage.
2. resisting. he's fighting back. he's testing his ability to defend himself, but yelling NO! I DON'T WANT TO! and pushing me away obviously does not go over well. then when he gets reprimanded, it's back to the 20 minute fake cries.
3. WHINING. like all the voice modulation that is being used in pop music these days, it is as if moses is speaking through a modulator that is set on WHINE. sometimes it's only a few times a day, and of course, there are days when it never turns off. combine the three together and you'll often find me out on the patio later that night.
on the bright side, school seems to be hitting a positive note. first day was great, second day he was a little leery, realizing that school might not just be free play and fun in games. this week, both days went well. he's still counting to 10 en francais, occasionally missing out on a number or two, but counting on his fingers has been helping.
i don't really know the protocol for preschool. i'm definitely not the hovering type, but i don't want to be perceived as uninvolved either. i was basically told to leave as the teacher said "au revoir mama!" and closed the door LOL. at least i know now what i'm supposed to do. i guess if there is an issue, they will let us know. i was pleased to find out his potty training is thumbs up. he did not use the toilet the first few days because he didn't know where it was. knowing that i will not be there to help wipe his butt or button his pants has actually encouraged him to master these new responsibilities on his own. so thankful, these responsibilities were zero cause for freak outs!
i can't believe i am packing him "snack". it's a stepping stone for packing lunch. i can't believe he is in school. i am leaving him with teachers who will begin to know him in ways i never will. they will be teaching him things i can not teach. this makes me so thankful that i spent the last three years with him. i am thankful that i did not HAVE TO go back to work and miss out on all the things that i have forgotten. i feel like on some level, the both of us absorbed the good that came out of all the time spent together even if we both have little recollection of that time.
if you are wondering if i am posting this because moses made it and it's fucking amazeballs, you would be absolutely correct. he made this. perhaps it is not amazing to you, but it blows my mind that he can come up with stuff like this. the pattern is PERFECT. it's so detailed and well-thought out. i don't know how he does it. although he is still very much into cars, trucks and trains, his interests are expanding to include boats and planes, both which he has begun to build out of legos more often.
chloe is growing up and they are getting to a place where they can interact better with each other. yes, he bosses her around and continues to be physically rough with her, but when they are playing nicely together it totally melts my heart. he calls her to come play with him. whether or not she listens or is into it is a different story, but i'm happy he invites her to play with him on occasion. i love hearing them laugh together. i don't think that will ever get old. i've been waiting for this, i've been waiting to hear what shenanigans they get into and what nonsensical games and phrases they come up with.
moses also takes chloe under his wing in terms of learning. i usually let him play on the iPad since it is chockful of learning games and i am so ecstatic that he has been more than happy to patiently show her how to play some of the easier games. he knows that i won't always let him play on it, so he will ask me if he can teach chloe how to play on the iPad, totally aware that at some point, she will leave and he will have it all to himself. HA!
i don't know if it's because we've been reading stories every night since he was 6 months old, or if it's because kev's mom started him off on learning games just before his first birthday, but this child of mine is really excelling with spelling and reading. the show WordWorld was definitely made for him. he loves it. he gets it. he knows all his letters and all their sounds (well the basic ones) and knows that they need to be put together sound by sound to create a word. i'm impressed that he has the capability to sound out CAT and remember the letters as he goes along sounding out each consecutive letter. he asks me how to spell certain words, and sometimes will tell me how to spell very simple words like BUM. he's big into rhyming right now and he's finally understanding the concept. for a while, he would tell me two words rhymed when they did not rhyme at all. now he's listing words that do rhyme (even if they aren't real words...) tonight he told me SPRINKLING & DINKLING rhyme. that was hilarious.
we have not done a lot of counting with him, but he gets numbers, too. he counts on his fingers, pointers to pinky and thumb last. he can do the simplest forms of adding and subtracting on his fingers, popping them up and down as he goes. he's been showing us his hands 3 and 3 are 6, for example. it's a great feeling to have a strength be so obvious, but i have to keep reminding myself not to expect the same from chloe because she is a completely different person than moses. and likewise, with other kids, there is no comparing. hell if i was ever any good with numbers! clearly i am the creative type, not the academic type! and seriously if i could, i would be a dancer...
i love moses. after finishing my written interview for DEME this weekend, i realized how much time i have been losing out on the kids. i know they drive me up the walls and i know the house stinks like shit and dishes, but it won't be forever (i hope...). i need to really pull the reins on the cooking and cleaning, and make a greater effort to spend more time engaging and playing with them. moses asks me so many times a day EVERYDAY to play with him and i rarely ever give him the time of day. my little guy is hardly a toddler anymore, he is totally turning into a rambunctious naughty little boy. i need to cherish this time and take him up on his requests to play together. it certainly is not going to last long.