The Dirty 30

there were about 200 photos.
here are some of my "family friendly" faves...
first of all: a huge huge huge mega round of applause to Neighbour Cait for dedicating 7 hours of prep, packing, labelling the different recipes into separate bags with idiot-proof instructions for assembly!  each recipe had its own bag with all the components stored in separate tupperwares.  i really should have taken a photo of the amazing job she did packing.   
another mega insane round of applause to kev for halving and pitting about 7 cups of cherries for the rustic  cherry tarts and making the incredible prosciutto wrapped pork tenderloin with plum chutney.  
a crazy out of this world round of applause to KLF for the penis cookies (later in this post...), the homemade lemon and coconut marshmallows, my favourite 7 layer dip (perfect as usual) and her lovely man Milos for assembling both the bruschettas organized by Cait!  perfectly arranged!!!!
those who come to the marshmallow bowls, come to die...
good times on the patio with Laydee Kate.  Nipple Stickers Nik sampling the foods.
the left side of our makeshift bar.  more booze arrived as the night went on, topped with lemons, limes, cukes, oranges, blueberries and lychee.  
my cousin Nat unknowingly bought me my favourite lipstick from 2004-2006 and was appalled to know that it was that old...  she would have been 13 years old at the time
creepy Tim & Eric masks courtesy of KLF were worn throughout the evening
terrifyingly hilarious
PIMM'S!!!!  The booze of summertime!!!
and brought a small crew including a couple of numbskulls i've known since they were 5
surrounded by gorgeous views
i will never leave Vancouver
the pool below.  once again, we didn't make enough effort to hit the pool or hot tub.  next year.
Ainge came over the previous afternoon and helped me clean, prep, take care of the kids, and make the Glittoris for the intergalactic vagina piñata.  She had to bus back into burnaby before coming back to join in the festivities, all before her 6am flight for Hawaii the next morning!
the penis cookies came out.  i wish i had been around to take a photo before they went deep throat on everyone BUT a big thank you to whomever did their best to take this photo!!!  the lighting under this lamp was hell all night long!!!  and while i am at it, thank you to everyone who took it upon themselves to take photos throughout the night while i was indisposed.  
i managed to find these two little guys before they got eaten up!
KLF you are the best
you will might be wondering if Starbucks sponsored the party, but really the hotel charges $1/glass so Caela went over to the Starbucks and was generously given a bag of cups to supply our soiree!  you will also notice a difference in my husband's behaviour.  it's called tequila overload which he paid for dearly the next morning.  thank you to everyone who accepted a lapdance from him.  
luchador love: attempting to feed a penis cookie to Andrew through his mask
Westbank Crew!  
so romantic
you can't see it very well, but while Ange goes down on the Phanie penis cookie, i've got a jizz bum wearing a lovely rainbow sprinkled thong
penis maker extraordinaire
Lindsay & Alexis rocking wasted effort necklaces
linds found a baggy of bath salts by the tub.  look how pretty they are!
trashed husband invading the lady lounge
harem of sweet honeys
that is some serious plastic surgery, Nicole
possibly the most awesome photo of the night
James and his crew took off.  He would be leaving for Vegas the next morning.
SO STOKED that Neil made it over after a long day at work!!!!!!!
so sweet!!!!  he brought me macaroons and chocolates from thierry!!!!!!!!!
cutest couple.  make some babies already, guys.
the gold fringed, sequined clitoried vagina piñata!!!!
so maybe it doesn't really look like a vag, but think about what a vag would do if it were going out on the red carpet for the Emmy's or something.  this is pretty good!!!
why didn't anyone else grab the field hockey stick from me?  didn't anyone else want a turn???
thanks Neil for risking your body
bubble gum, tampons, white rats, 3 black bats, and about 20 little homemade baggies of candies
Vag Sash
kisses from Taryn
this marvelous Dirty 30 cake created by the one and only Lyndsay Sung from Coco Cake
a portrait cake that couldn't have been more appropriate
motor boating myself
slicing and serving my own boobs for everyone to taste...
babely blondes and brunettes living together in harmony
Jordan & Darcy making out in my gold fringe
turned foursome
being fed my own breasts
inappropriately appropriate
 fed more boob
i still can't decide if i should post this or not
50's Dance Party
uh oh, time for a white boy dance off....
annndddddd CAMERA DIES

i had a truly truly amazing time and from the sounds of it, everyone else had a great time as well.  thank you to everyone who was able to make it, including Mr Unger who showed up WAY later after a long night hosting Ping Pong in Chinatown for Nightmarket and brought me one of the sweet totes for my birthday.  thank you to Caela for calling me all week asking me what i needed, and for bringing me a huge bag full of candles, make up, and girly goodies i would never buy for myself.  thank you for spoiling me!  thank you to Jade for taking me and Ainge in before your busy day to make our hair look super fabulous, I owe you babysitting big time!  thank you to Tera and Nik for the lovely birthday presents, so sweet and so thoughtful.  thank you to everyone who came early and helped prep.  thank you to everyone for contributing to the room to make this happen and for making this night super special.  it's been a looooonnngggg time since i've had a chance to party like this for my birthday.  it's been a long time since i have had a chance to party with many of you and it was a great first time partying with others.  

thank you thank you everyone for all the birthday love

and so concludes Day 1 of my party weekend
next up: Ashley's Stagette


  1. wow... what a frigging awesome party... looked super fun and so much hilariousness!! the penile cookies, boobs strapped to kevin's butt, and you motorboating the boob cake... so good... ! happy 30th, beautiful lady! xo


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