where is my mind?

so, in light of how rudely i totally made zero mention of Neighbour Rob in my Farewell Neighbour Cait post, i am going to share a few other things that have happened as a consequence of my brain deterioration...

1.  i lost one set of our car keys.  i have no idea where they are.  the last memory i have is kev and i bringing both sets to the Hastie wedding.  beyond that fact, there is nothing.

we have the extra fob with the broken metal ring so that i cannot attach the house keys to it.  and of course i am missing one of the keys.

no idea.

2.  i also lost my lens cap for my new lens that Ash bought me as a thank you for photographing their wedding in 3 days.  thankfully, Em found it when they were cleaning up the wedding.

3.  as absolutely embarrassing as this is, i made two errors in regards to my Dad.

August 13th is not his anniversary.  August 12th is his anniversary.
what is funny is that i never remember his anniversary.  contrary to being the person that remembers the phone numbers and birthdays of people from elementary and highschool whom i haven't seen in years, this one day is the day my brain has chosen to never remember.

perhaps it is with good reason?  perhaps because when it happened, life was so turned upside down?  perhaps my mind just didn't want to remember it...  every year i have to go back in my blog or diary or my keepsake box and double check.  this is true.  see this blog entrance here:

it was my dad's anniversary on friday the 12th.  
i never remember.  
i don't like to remember.
it's been 8 years.
i like to imagine it unnecessary to remember because he is always with me.  he is part of me and he is in my children.  they wouldn't be here if it weren't for him.  their eyes.  their goofy personality...  it's there.
it kills me that they don't get to see him and know him.  my mom wouldn't have to work, her arthritis wouldn't be so bad, she could spend as much time as she wanted with the kids....  my dad would go nuts with them and over them.  he was always so ridiculously goofy, making up the most eccentric nonsense songs and shamelessly contorting his face into the silliest expressions along with strange poses.  it is a massive loss to us all that he is not physically still here with us...

my mother has finally began reading my blog and corrected me on the cemetery being Forest Lawn not Ocean Park.  AND I KNEW THIS.  I DON'T KNOW WHY I TEND TO WRITE WITHOUT THINKING.  of course i knew it was Forest Lawn, I had to type in Forest Lawn into google maps to confirm how to get there after not having visited for years....

a horrible mistake, i know.  but i hope the effort and love that is going to this fundraiser will redeem this slight of mind...

i want to say it's because i stay up so late but that reason seems to be getting tired.  it's true, nevertheless, i am dead tired.  i wake up the next morning and like this morning, i often feel like a horse that had been flogged all night long.  my body aches everywhere and my brain feels like it is a million leagues under the sea and needs at least 30 minutes to swim back to the surface and remember what day it is and find the pad of paper that i may have written the previous night to navigate me through the TO DO's of the day.

for example:

4.  i thought to myself this morning how maybe i should go to my mom's tonight to get photos for the fundraiser and to help my mom figure out her email on her ipad.  she has finally crossed the dark side into technology land thanks to the ipad, and now she can not function without her email!  

then i realized about 20 minutes later while making breakfast, that i totally forgot i have a family beach session with Jess and family...  and this is after having just hung out with her and the kids for two hours yesterday.

in a nutshell my mind is mush.  

so in an effort to make things right with Rob, i have revised my Farewell Neighbour Cait post.


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