Hi. How are you?

so one of the things that i have learned is that the "loving what you do" is really only a mere fraction of what it means to be a business.  the "loving what you do" is about 12% of the big picture with the rest of the pie taken over by a bunch of NOT AS FUN parts: editing, bookkeeping, client communication, social media, networking, marketing, print orders, designing templates etc...  ok a few of those things are a bit fun but you know what i mean.

i've been busy as hell.  partially due to still being a Stay at Home mom, though i gotta say, sitting here any longer than i already do makes me want to barf.  part of me feels like even if i had 8 hours a day to work a normal work day, undisturbed by children, i still might sit here at night.  it wouldn't surprise me.

but i do need to have a little vent here.  the grass is always always greener.  things are never better or worse, they are just different.  different ups and different downs, but right now part of me really really misses the slower pace of last year.  i actually miss having chloe be small enough that we still took the stroller.  i NEVER walk anymore.  i used to walk into town almost every single day with the both of them, chloe in the stroller seat with moses riding on the back wheel.  i've been sans stroller for longer than i can even remember...

i'm sure i had my things to bitch about... how i wish i knew what i was doing and what the future held for me in terms of a career.  career is here and now i am missing the days of cooking more often, enjoying the outdoors and actually getting the slightest bit of physical activity.  as it sits, my knees are killing me everyday from doing nothing.  and i know it's my fault, i'm not making time for it.  i'd rather sit here.  but how do i fit more time when i'm already sitting here until the early hours of the morning?

excuses?  probably.
i need someone to give me a time management schedule.... and if you could please throw in someone to organize my brain and/or my home.  and a house cleaner.  i'll even settle for being the cook still, at least for breakfast and lunch and snacks.  thank god kevin is the better cook of the two of us!  it almost brings tears to my eyes at the end of everyday that i can just sit down to a healthily prepared and delicious meal.  i'm just so happy that it is his strength because it is not mine.  recipes: YES, i can do them but it costs more to make recipes to make sure you have all the ingredients rather than to be creative enough to come home, see what's available and throw it together.

"hello and welcome to my blog! the bulk of entries are gratuitous updates and photos of my two darlings Moses and Coco as a way of journaling my path through motherhood. i am making efforts to include more neat things and ideas i come across for the home, kids, creative ideas and some of my own work as a freelance artist... however, life with two monsters under 2 makes this a challenge. ENJOY YOUR STAY!"

i haven't changed my ABOUT in 2 years.  sorry.  that and the illustrated banner that only shows up when i view my blog on my phone.  i know, i know, i gotta change that or something.  that and clean the baseboard edges all around the house, and the cupboard under the sink where all the garbage & recycling dust gathers, and purge all the extraneous STUFF in both the washroom drawers, and tidy the patio...  all these little things that i don't get around to because to make food, clean it up, clear the counters, clean up the toys is enough to do THREE TIMES EVERY SINGLE DAY.  then if i am lucky, washing the floors every 2-3 weeks which really needs to be done every 5 days.  blah blah blah...

boo hoo first world problems.  here's more.

i'm tired.  i'm just really tired right now and i need a break from editing photos before my eyes start to bleed.

i miss being here.
i'm sad that i am forced to take less photos of my own life with the kids because i don't have to edit more than i already have.

i can't wait til lindsay's christmas party.  i can't wait til the holidays.  AHHHHH CHLOE'S BIRTHDAY.  i can't even begin to think about it.  someone else do it.

ok i'm going to have some water and continue.

sorry this was just a rant.  a spoiled first world rant.


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