Mama Said Knock You Out, I'm Gonna Knock You Out

i am an angry person right now.

i don't remember having this kind of rage with moses or chloe, though i am not denying the possibility of it because it seems to be in my nature to have some rage issues.

i seem to be transitioning out of my sick phase and into a phase of total bitchiness and urges to punch everyone in the face for no good reason other than "i'm not feeling good."

everyday i want to sit and write.  everyday i'm either too sick/exhausted from baby or i'm struggling to do the daily grind.  my cooking has gone down the drain.  we've been eating a lot of Bunny Pasta.  the other day we had it with hotdogs.  and ketchup.  i bought more soup.  instant.  low maintenance.  survival mode.

i'm thankful that Moses has taken it upon himself to make sandwiches on his own.  he makes us almond butter, strawberry jam and banana sammies, toasted.  he uses a fork to scoot them out of the hot toaster oven.  he takes out 3 knives: 1 for cutting bananas, 1 for spreading the almond butter and the last for spreading the jam.  he's got a whole system going and its one less meal i have groan over as my head feels like it's going to explode from hormones, increased blood flow, and irritation caused by constant aversions to smells and feelings of hangriness.  he made us sammies today while i got ready to go out.  he's so proud of himself and i feel like crying out of joy that i am so blessed to have his responsible little butt around to help me out.

i finally uploaded my Cali photos today.  i still have to go through them.  i can not stand sitting at the computer for any length of time and i have been trying to push out an album all week.

i love yoga.  i wish i could do it 2-3 times a week instead of just the one.  it makes me feel so goddam amazing and i love jen so much for making us work our abs.  i need it with all the unhealthy food cravings that i am giving into it.  poor kevin has been coming home and doing dinners after his long days at work.  i swear, as soon as i am out of this nausea/energy draining phase, i'll bounce back.  i will.  i wonder when i will be able to eat onions, garlic and ginger again…

i had my first cup of tea yesterday.  english breakfast with a lemon slice and honey.  i think it's the herbal part that is turning me off because i can't deal with herbs, basil in particular.  UGH.  gag me.

i'm 11 weeks today.  1 more week and i'm outta the 1st trimester!  only 38 more weeks to go!!!!!!

i promise i'll post the photo of my ultrasound tomorrow.  if not tomorrow then sometime in the next week… if i don't end up in prison for punching someone in the face.

xo

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