Surprise No. 3
written Thurs April 24
we are pregnant. baby number 3 is estimated to arrive December 18 2014.
1. Were you guys trying?
No, we were not planning. do we ever plan?
apparently we just love surprises.
Ok, really, we are still disorganized teenagers struggling to be responsible adults. kevin had actually made his appointment to get snipped but ended up being told to postpone due to a bad cold... and he never rescheduled.
2. When did you find out?
We found out Saturday April 19th. I was a week late and my womanly senses were telling me I had better get a test. kevin picked one up for me, and in the calm clean naturally-lit bathroom at my in-laws, i took the test. i could have waited to take it at home, but i already had the experience of chloe's results in our dark, windowless, less than immaculately clean washroom and thought i deserved a little better if by chance i was knocked up for a third time. also, i was headed to Lindsay and Neil's housewarming soirée that night and to the Easter Brunch and Hunt the next morning (Mimosas and Bloody Mary's were to be served).
soooooo i figured i'd better get permission before participating in the booze cruise.
3. Are you guys going to look for a bigger place?
If you don't already know, we live in a 1040sq foot condo. Thankfully we own it. It is a small space for two kids and will definitely be unliveable by the time of Numero Trois' first birthday. We've been off and on looking at places, but our finances are not where they need to be for us to purchase something that works for us. We are considering a townhouse at this time. We definitely do not want to uproot out of Tsawwassen. We were certainly panicked for the first 3-4 days about our living situation and our vehicle situation, but our list of fears have gradually melted away in the last 2 days. We are both allowing ourselves to feel less stress and panic to make room for more joy and excitement. After all, I think deep inside, we both wanted to have a trio of our own as we both came from families of 3 siblings.
For now, our eyes are open, but we have 18 months until we would really need to get into a larger space. I have faith in the universe. It has always provided what we have needed. I have never been given more than I can handle (my personal tendency to take on more than I can handle is a different story…) Also, I know a family very close to my heart that started off with so much less than what we have: fresh out of high school, living in the father's home, sharing a bedroom with their firstborn for the first 5 years. And they are all the most strong, loving, and wonderful people I have ever met.
In the meantime: PURGE PURGE PURGE!
4. You guys are going to have to need a van…
Kevin is gluten-free, dairy-free and has a pretty acute aversion to vans. In all honesty, when kevin takes his quiet time in the evening, he spends it playing The Simpsons Tapped Out in conjunction with searching and torturing himself with vintage cars on Craigslist. HE HATES THE JETTA. every single car he has driven since he was 16 has been an old car.
2000-2006 1966 Falcon Futura
2006-2008 1975 Pinto Wagon Woodie
2004-Forever 1953 Ford Customline (our Wedding car)
Finally in 2008, we drove up to ___ to check out two cars in his mom's 90's Ford. Taking a turn on icy roads, the car drifted into the left lane and we collided. At that point, I convinced him to buy a new car: 2008 City Jetta. My biological clock was obviously ticking because we conceived Moses 8 months later.
I believe he has been counting the days to when we would finally be able to get rid of it and trade it in for another old car. He's already been looking into some station wagons, so his search in the last couple of days has definitely narrowed. He's stressed and having anxiety over finding one, but I am trying to encourage him to feel excited because he's always wanted one and now he gets to have one and customize it to however he wants. I am going to look so badass…
5. How are you feeling?
This is day 2 of feeling positive. The initial shock has mostly worn off. I'm a little surprised at how fast it has worn off but I would say it's a good thing. The first few days were definitely a whirlwind and I am sure any other mother of three that wasn't expecting that last little person, will understand the thoughts and emotions that needed to be processed.
In typical Phanie fashion, I'm going to be honest. I was not thrilled.
a) The finish line was within sight, Moses is going to be attending Kindergarten in September and Chloe is only a year behind him. My intentions were to really focus on getting myself together and figuring out where I wanted to go in terms of my creative work and career.
b) I was finally beginning to have more social activities outside of playdates. I have been having more nights out and drinking and blazing and enjoying myself. Not that these things are healthy by any stretch, but I was enjoying the fact that I was finally able to fully indulge myself. Truth: I've been trying to slow it down the last couple of weeks so maybe this is a good time to have a dry spell anyway.
c) I bought my first BOUNCED BACK! bathing suit last August when I visited my sister in Cali with Chloe.
i wore it ONCE and i was really looking forward to rocking it next month when we chill on the beach in San Diego (and for the rest of the summer here at Centennial). My body was finally at a place where I was happy with it and it all makes sense now that my favourite jeans that I just got at Christmas have been feeling a little tighter the last couple of weeks despite the fact that I have been eating so freaking well.
d) The Twins. May I just remind everyone what the girls looked like a month after I had Moses?
I went from a perfect C to an E. Mellowed down to a D only to get knocked up with Chloe and shoot up to a G cup. May I remind everyone what I looked like 4 months after I had Chloe.
I promise you these photos are completely untouched. I have mellowed back to a D/DD since then so I am sure you can imagine how VERY REAL my fears are of those G cups coming back. On top of looking ridiculous as a 5'1" person with mega watermelons, the bras and NURSING BRAS for a 32G run for about $150 each. FML.
e) I love weddings. I love eating and drinking and dancing my ass into the late hours of the night. Drinking is out of the question, I have yet to develop food aversions and my full pregnancy appetite, and in my experience, you just can't bust the same moves you normally could do with full body freedom. We have 4 this summer and I will be relegated to DD. HA! DD with DD's. At least I still got my sense of humour!
All initial selfishnesses aside, I am feeling optimistic and excited. The finish line will come. Moses being in Kindergarten will be fantastic and Chloe will be in preschool for only 2.5 hours a day for however many days I can afford to put her in. As Chloe is definitely the lazier and less responsible of the two, I am hoping this one-on-one time with Numero 3 will ignite some older sibling skills into her. She loves babies and is already accustomed to sharing me with Moses, so I do have hopes that she will adjust well to this new addition. Both of them are SET on a girl. I have not told them officially, just posed the possibility of a third… I am hoping to tell them tonight (Thursday April 24) so that they can break the news to my Mom when they got to sleepover this evening!
It occurred to me earlier this morning that I have an entirely new group of friends now than when we first moved into Tsawwassen. I have new friends that did not get to be part of Moses and Chloe's early life that are thrilled and get to be part of this final journey. I am so so immeasurably excited about this because I had no other mom friends when I was having Moses and only a small handful with Chloe. I now have an entire village of love and support! I have Erin as my doula and Emily has already offered to throw me a Baby Sprinkle (just a sprinkle, as a full shower is not necessary). I have gone from being the hand-me-down giver to the hand-me-down receiver.
I am happy to be pregnant at a time where I have wanted to slow down with work and invest more time in doing creative projects for myself, for art's sake. I will have until December to really soak up this time with Moses and Chloe. This will be the end of their era as my Terrible Twosome and I plan on laughing and being as silly as possible with them.
I hope my belly busts out during the summer because I have always wanted to wear crop tops much to the horror of those with deathly aversions to pregnant bellies. That would make up for the bathing suit.
More to come…