Where is My Mind?

With your feet on the air
And your head on the ground
Try this trick and spin it

Your head will collapse
But there's nothing in it
And you'll ask yourself

Where is my mind?

I'm sure I have used this Title for previous posts.  I've had this Pixies' song as my ringtone for waking up in the morning for quite a while now.  It's appropriate.  Every morning feels like waking up from a night of partying.

Where am I?
What day is it?

Some morning as are better than others.  Some mornings feel like some chubby kid is using a paintbrush with thick gobs of liquid glue to paint my eyelids shut and I know that means coffee is on the agenda.  I've been trying not to have it if I don't "need" it.  It's hard.  I have an addictive personality to start with, so having started coffee has been a downhill slope.

I'm going to cry again over my inability to make a sound decision… and be happy with it.  I'm still on the fence with the schooling.  My sister managed to convince me to get the kids baptized.  I don't know why.  She's a Plan B kind of person.  She and my mom have done their fair share for me, it's really a pittance of a thank you.  I'm set to fill out some forms tomorrow morning.  It just so happens that they have a special class for parents to attend on the 3rd Wednesday of every month that is required before doing the deed.  Any Sunday following the class is game for the big douche.  It also just so happens this timing coincides perfectly with my sister's visit.  She will be making a surprise visit for Moses' birthday next weekend so as long as I attend the class that happens to be next week, she can be present as the godparent on the weekend.

it's weird and i'm uncomfortable with it but i'll hold my tongue as best i can.  whatever.  i just have to keep reminding myself that it hasn't changed who i am and people are going to be whoever they are going to be in the end.

also, while we are on the subject of being indecisive, i need to admit that i have been on the fence with Malcolm's name from Day 1.  i've spent every single day on a continuous search for another name.  he's only 4 months, that is NOTHING in the grand scheme of things!  i know because we all just sat as a family this evening watching old videos of the kids from 2-3 years ago AND videos of Moses when he was just learning to walk and his vocabulary was nothing but BAHS and DAHS.

i don't know.  i've been scouring Nameberry.com, going back to old names i liked and trying them on.  still looking at names of Pinners on Pinterest, checking out names in magazines, trying names I've heard on the playground at school…  can I just say that it SUCKS BALLS that girls are taking boy names when girl names are SO EASY to choose with 10 times more to choose from.  and not just any boy names, but GOOD ONES for that matter!  ugh.  so if anyone has anymore names, please feel free to send them my way.

can't wait to have a coffee tomorrow.


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